Getting My MBA

…when we first try to pay for school.

I had no idea there were so many companies and groups offering scholarships. Likewise, I had no idea that I would even be eligible for so few of them. I’m white, male, straight, and make a reasonable amount of money at my job. I know, I know, I’m privileged and should not complain in any way shape or form. I hope I’m not complaining, I just don’t know how this all works. And I’m having a little trouble keeping everything straight, thank you very much.

I’m playing naïve and applying for a zillion of’em. You gotta know that this will lead to a zillion squared spam emails, right? What can I do, though? I need cash to pay the education monster and I don’t have any. Any extra anyways.

A lot of them require essays. Yikes. That’s a big wakeup call: you’re back in school, moron. Get used to power plays by those who have the power. Power here being money, as is so often the case. Once classes start, power is the privileged demigod who hands out grades.

Speaking of grades, I just found out that my school can kick you out of grad school if your average drops below B+. Yikes! I hope this is a sign of grade inflation. It would be totally embarassing if my kids ever saw me flunking out of college. My oldest, who is struggling with grades despite being a genius, could use that to justify anything.

This Friday I take the test. Or should I say, the test. The 4+ hour long test, with essay questions for goo’ness sakes. I haven’t taken a test like that since my SAT’s <cough> years ago.

I’m seriously nervous. I know I shouldn’t be, since I’m good at taking tests like this (sadly, test-taking skill doesn’t always predict skill in real life).

The essay questions didn’t look that bad. They’re kind of a series of questions looking for logical holes in a short argument. Go to MBA.com to download some examples. There have been enough documents, technical and otherwise, created by my little typing fingers to give me plenty of experience putting words together.

I have to say that MBA.com does provide some nice tools. They have a sample test you can download and run and they have some study materials online. Every one of the essay questions is provided ahead of time, too. 45 pages worth with about 8 per page. Hmmm, I think I’ll memorize answers to all of them!

Breathe in, breathe out. Relax. Crack my knuckles. It’ll be okay.

The other cool thing is that you get a “provisional” score right away. They must either base this on just the multiple choice questions or they have some neat software that attempts to understand your essay answers. I admit I’m a computer geek, and I know just enough about language processing to know that that would be a pretty kewl program if it worked with any accuracy. Actually, though, keyword lookups would probably give a pretty good first cut. As long as they have real people reading them for the final score.

I also know enough about writing to know that I need to end with something snappy that summarizes everything and makes you, the reader (both of you) want to read again tomorrow. Hmmm.

Hmmm.

Ah, well….

MBA, uh, GMAT, uh, snap! See y’all tomorrow!

…and that definitely applies to education.

It makes me nervous. If accepted, I can plan on dropping $20-30k on tuition, books, parking, student fees, and a new laptop over the next two years. That’s a lot of money. My company, bless their little soul, will kick in $5k per calendar year, assuming I get good enough grades. That’s a pretty substantial chunk there. And a beloved relative has offered to buy me my laptop.

but….

The company contribution is a reimbursement so I I have to come up with the dough to get started. The laptop, as awesome as it is, is maybe $2.5k (hey, I’m going to get a decent one). That leaves me with $7.5k-$10k. I have enough equity in my house to do this, but does it make sense? And what happens when my kids start hitting college in a couple years?

So, is it worth it? Will I get enough of a pay increase to pay this money off? Will my student loans help when it’s time for my kids to get them? Can I even get student loans when I’m not approved for classes yet?

If anybody is reading this, please let me know your thoughts. Especially if you’ve already done this.